Hallie Gebel

It is dark here. I am alone. It is kind of smelly. I feel the world staring at me to make a move. Make a move. Just dance. Leave the embarrassment for tomorrow. Now it is time to make a fool of myself.

I was the mascot for basketball games during my senior year of high school. Try to just imagine this: a tiny girl wearing long, white gym shorts, a maroon jersey, and for the finishing touch - a jumbo size head that resembles present day John Travolta. This was the picture of the mascot, Sparky the Hillclimber.

It was an awkward time to say the least, but I could not help feeling liberated every time I walked out onto to court.

I always thought of myself as an outgoing person, but I was awakened to a world of obnoxious fans, sarcastic teens, and terrified children, all of whom were unforgiving and at most times, made me want to run away and cry. Never before had I felt so utterly out of place and so completely zoned into every sense. Almost every step I took had to be planned and executed with extreme precision, because one wrong move could send the head toppling over, or worse, my body into a cluster of people. I found myself constantly checking my shoe strings, if my shirt was tucked in, and if a basketball was barreling towards me. Somehow, though, even with all of these obstacles combined, I felt like I could do anything I wanted because it was not really ‘me’ jumping around and dancing, it was an alter ego that did not care what anyone else thought.

My entire life I have always cared what people think. My entire life I have tried to live up to almost unattainable standards. I always wanted to make everyone around me feel like I had it all. Everything I have ever wanted in life I have worked hard for because I never want to feel like I am cheating myself from a better future, or actually a better persona. I cannot lie, most things I have done in my life, I have done for the praise of others. Every move I made was choreographed to make sure I did not make a single mistake, because mistakes meant weaknesses. All of this changed when I put on the mascot head. Suddenly, I did not care who was watching- I just wanted to dance and dance until I felt I was just a plain fool. The dictionary defines dancing as: leaping, skipping, jumping, etc., as from excitement or emotion. I would say that the only way to celebrate letting go of people’s doubts and personal paranoia is to dance.

The experience of being a mascot was something I will never forget, and I still cannot believe how it remains in the forefront of my mind every day. I was humbled by the experience because now I know that I can go through life being my own mascot, and I do not need the praise of others to know that I am accomplished. All I have to do is remember the immortal words of Lady Gaga. Just Dance.